Aux gentilshommes du comité présidant du club des Brooks’s les plus honorables:
Bonjour et la plupart des salutation humble,
I bid you good day and request from you the honor of joining your most illustrious club on this fine day, n’est-ce pas. Many times I am hearing from my English friends who are telling me stories most outrageous regarding the honor and nobility of your club and now I am wishing to be a member. I am a nobleman most continental, and have seen glorious service in arms under his most holy majesty Louis le dix-septième in L’Espagne, L’Allemagne, et Les Antilles. However, récemment, L’Révolution has deprived me of my livelihood, and I am forced to flee to England. I hope most sincerely that you will allow me to join your societie. I have many amusing stories to tell, such as when I was the keeper of the Sultan’s bees, or my accidental visit to an island of cheese in the South Seas, or when I nearly liberated la Famille Royale from les sans-culottes. I most humbly beseech you grant admittance, good monsieurs, and I remain most graciously yours,
Le Marquis de Carabás
L'ordre de Saints Maurice et de Lazarus
To the Hand of the Most Honourable Marquess of Carabás,
Good day to you sir. We are most honoured by your request, and are most pleased and delighted to inform you that, in no small part due to the kind words of recommendation provided to us by your acquaintance Mister Christopher Walker, the noted African explorer, your application has been accepted, and we look forward to hearing of your many exploits around the world. May this letter find you in continued good health.
Your humble servant,
John Cholmondeley, Esq.
Brooks’s Private Secretary
The Life, Times, and Misadventures of Dennis St. Michel, Viscount of Stokington, Soldier, Gambler, Diplomat, Scoundrel, Notorious Rakehell, and Lord of Menacing House, in his Own Words.